2014 started as most New Years do, with promise and lofty goals. The year ended with many of those goals accomplished and some important lessons and learning as most do.
This time last year, if I am truly honest with myself and go back to my blog I was recovering from foot surgery and I was ITCHING to do something, I hadn't really learned to swim yet, hadn't been on the new bike I had bought and frankly wasn't so confident about my running post surgery. I had a long way to go before my first half iron in June but I was feeling excited mixed with the anxious feeling of needing to get off the couch.
Swimming proved to be an arch nemesis and I switched exclusively to swimming a 50 meter pool that was much further from my house in order to push myself. That worked wonders until I had a complete and utter meltdown at my very first ever open water swim in May, ok well maybe not complete because I didn't cry but let's face it I contemplated giving up MANY times. People always say to me, "Oh I wish I could do what you do but...(insert reason here, I'm scared, I can't swim, I freak out, I want to quit, I don't have time)." Well I have news for you and if you read my blog you know this, but I want to quit many days, I have meltdowns where I cry on the floor over something stupid because I have been training for weeks and I'm sleepy and sore and I've reached my limit, I get overwhelmed with my dreams and goals, BUT I don't give up, I don't quit, I stay the course. That is the important lesson to learn and that I hope I have conveyed in the last year. I was never a natural athlete, this does not come easily for me and this journey has taxed me more mentally than physically.
Looking back on 2014 I'm disappointed in myself for getting hurt and therefore not meeting the very high goals I had set for myself at the start of the year. I'm frustrated and tired of the injections, the physical therapy, the constant doctors appointment, and most importantly the lack of a training schedule presenting me with solid base and improvements as I head into an even bigger 2015. The injury has taught me valuable lessons and I need to focus on those lessons in my periods of frustration and self doubt. I know that if push comes to shove mentally I can make my body work through pain, not of course broken bone pain again but in the instance of a grueling race I can have mental toughness. I will never forget the words said to me by someone who has known me from the awkward first days of college, "You are way stronger than anyone has ever given you credit for". Those words have stuck with me since they were uttered in June and they have powered me through.
When I think to all the physical pain I have endured I remember Packy and the fact he suffered far worse and he never gave up and he never complained. I'm sure he had internal complaints and some hidden meltdowns but to the outer world he portrayed his strength and that is important. As far as me, I am going to endeavor this year to be more honest via the blog as far as feelings of doubt, being scared, etc so that you can see that I'm not Teflon, this process is hard and anyone going through it or thinking about it should have a real picture not puppies and kittens. I want people to say, "I decided to try it because after reading you try it I think I can do it."
Triathlons are hard, learning new sports is hard and sometimes demoralizing, long course events require extreme commitment and sacrifice. The benefits to me far out way the sacrifices, amazing friends, inspiring and teaching others, the feeling of crossing the finish line and let's face it looking pretty good in skinny jeans is a plus :-)
So 2014, I must say you were pretty positive. I'm so lucky to have the best parents/cheering squad in the business who followed me even to another country to support an endeavor that I am not sure they always understand. I have not had one major race without them and that means the world to me. I set a new half marathon PR and I set a new 5K PR during a sprint tri relay that my team won. I accomplished my goal of a half ironman race, I didn't get the time I wanted but I learned so much about race nutrition and myself, especially when I learned I did it with a stress fracture. I had my first DNF, I struggled with my feelings of being pulled for not making the bike cut off but realizing that everything in life holds a lesson and that was an important lesson for me. The understanding that you can only push yourself so far before you need to listen to your body and understand that rest is necessary. The understanding that a DNF is not a failure, it is not a negative but a positive message of a new goal and what I needed to work on. I accomplished the goal of learning how to take care of myself, rest according to orders and heal.
2015 is the year of the Ironman...more on that tomorrow.
Showing posts with label #packy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #packy. Show all posts
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Saturday, October 4, 2014
If your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough
Dreams can mean so many different things for so many people but for me a dream is a goal that I set for myself that seems unattainable. You don't want your dreams to be easy because going down an easy path doesn't make you grow as a person. If you don't face your fears you will never feel the euphoric feeling of accomplishment that comes when you do something that your brain was convinced you could NOT do.
My next adventure will be long, grueling, exciting, and no doubt extremely life changing. On Monday, September 29th in a coordinated conference call effort, Jamie, Ladawn and I all signed up for the 2015 Little Debbie Chattanooga, Tennessee IRONMAN. Yes, we had a conference call, we are all very type A and had to ensure everyone got in since it sold out in minutes last year. Turned out it took a few more days to sell out this year but we were all pretty excited anyway. We whipped out our credit cards and over $800 later I was ready to embark on the toughest physical challenge I have ever faced. The business and cost of Ironman will come in a later post, but let's just say it is not for the faint of heart.
The past month dealing with my injury and the countless appointments made me very much doubt my ability and mental capacity to continue my journey to a 140.6 race. However, I had a brief come to jesus moment after I got back to NYC from Canada when I was walking down the street and having a particularly down day when I saw a Captain America shirt. As you might know my cousin Packy loved Captain America and I took this is as sign from him, which I generally always do, well that and when I see bud light another favorite of his :) Anyway, here I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my doctor's appointments to get my foot better when my foot clearly is not a life threatening injury.
Perspective is a beautiful thing my friends.
Perspective that the whole reason I wanted to do Chattanooga is the charity is Crohns and Colitis foundation, a foundation that is searching for a cure to the disease that Packy fought. A deeper meaning that going into this training is my testament that Packy truly did teach me to Never Give Up not to only do it if it was fun, or easy, or I wasn't hurt. I can handle a few doctor's appointments in order to get myself back in top shape for my upcoming 2015 race schedule if Packy could handle the countless appointments to try and stay with us.
Don't get me wrong I will still have days I feel completely overwhelmed but those days I will make sure to remember I have my angel with me. Every mile of that 140.6 is to celebrate a person that changed the lives of countless people and impacted the world in his short time here. Every mile of training is to reaffirm that I'm alive, that I have hopes and dreams and that I deserve to be at that level of race.
Before Barrelman in my lucky Captain America Shirt with the people who always support my wacky adventures and let's face it sometimes are the cause...I'm looking at you in the background JAMIE!
Dream big, dance in the rain, smile at a stranger and remember life is one big adventure.
Resetting the mile counters to 0 (until I'm cleared to really work out they will stay there)
Swim:
Bike:
Run:
Monday, March 17, 2014
Duathlon Recap
Let's have a little refresher. Pre-Saturday I had been outside to ride my bike exactly once, two loops around Central Park with no clips. I had not practice with clips, had not practiced drinking water on the bike, had not practiced eating on the bike and had only done one brick workout.
To say I was extremely nervous going into it would probably be an understatement but I was treating it as training. A learning experience to feel comfortable with the bike, transitions and the atmosphere. We arrived a little before 6am after the train gods were pretty good to us. It was very chilly and I was wearing several layers of clothes. They were not exactly organized and not much was set up when we arrived which add a little bit to my nerves. When we were finally able to get our race numbers and my race number was 26. It almost did not even register at first until I had it in front of me and at that point I felt a little more calm thinking about Packy there with me.
We started late after a brief talk from the USA Triathlon person and the race organizer. My anxiety was pretty high at this point but I was excited, it was a very small group doing our distance, maybe 30 or 35. When he let us go the entire group took off RUNNING, I mean so fast they were all almost out of eye sight very quickly. I tried to stay pace with Jamie for the first several miles and managed to hold on until the first water stop but at that point I realized if I was going make it 7 miles I needed to slow down. I spent the next several miles beating myself up about how slow I was and how my training was terrible and I should be doing better. I looked at my watch at this point and realized that I was still under a 10 minute mile which is VERY good for me, I think I was just too focused on everyone else and not just me. I did have my friend Carl come watch for a lap and also Miss Rose came so those were definitely positive moments when I felt I was doing horribly.
Coming in for the bike transition I was feeling happy to stop running. My right foot actually did a great job in my new shoes so that was a definite positive but my left foot was not feeling great. I got on my bike and managed to clip in and get going, of course the first challenge was Nelly Hill right out of the gate. I felt the first few laps went pretty well although I need to get faster I felt strong and more comfortable with each lap. Then, I needed to get a drink of water, oh dear the horror. I managed to get my water bottle out of the cage, then realized I hadn't moved the spout to open. Boy was that fun trying to open that, the bike was definitely wobbling at this point but I managed to get the water bottle open and get some water. Then comes the fun part, putting it back in the cage. I swear I almost threw the darn thing on the ground!! I finally managed to get in and move on. At this point I saw Anna on almost every single bike lap!
Eating is another story entirely!! I did have chews with me and the one package was actually open already so those were fairly easy to get into my mouth out of the package. The problem came when the second package was not pre-opened so I had to use my teeth but couldn't get a big enough opening. It was VERY difficult to get them out and I know I did not eat enough so that is something extremely important to work on.
8 laps later I was DYING. Ok maybe not dying but certain parts of me were in definite pain :-P It was my longest ride to date, when I spin in my apartment I can kind of sit up on the seat and give myself a break but out on the road that is not really an option. This transition was a little crazy in that I was kind of out of it and totally almost ran out of the transition area still wearing my helmet!
That last 4 mile run was AWFUL, horrible, terrible, oh dear. I thought that first run was tough but this run was probably the toughest 4 miles I have ever done in my life. I struggled, my foot was killing me, I was miserable but I never stopped. At one point I started a very controlled run/walk to make sure I wasn't going to hurt my foot more. Anna came and jogged the last bit with me which helped a lot. They were already taking down the ropes around the bikes and Jamie was guarding our stuff while Mike and Anna and a few volunteers cheered me on and gave me a medal.
Positives:
I did not puke
I did not fall off my bike
I did not die
I did not give up
Opportunities for Improvement
Bike faster
Better eating and drinking
running conditioning is VERY needed
Practice more Bricks
Be nicer to myself, stop beating myself up, focus on the race at hand, commit more to training if I want to be better.
Running: 70 miles
Biking: 16 hours/ 40 miles
Swimming: 11,000 meters
Strength Training: 19 sessions
To say I was extremely nervous going into it would probably be an understatement but I was treating it as training. A learning experience to feel comfortable with the bike, transitions and the atmosphere. We arrived a little before 6am after the train gods were pretty good to us. It was very chilly and I was wearing several layers of clothes. They were not exactly organized and not much was set up when we arrived which add a little bit to my nerves. When we were finally able to get our race numbers and my race number was 26. It almost did not even register at first until I had it in front of me and at that point I felt a little more calm thinking about Packy there with me.
We started late after a brief talk from the USA Triathlon person and the race organizer. My anxiety was pretty high at this point but I was excited, it was a very small group doing our distance, maybe 30 or 35. When he let us go the entire group took off RUNNING, I mean so fast they were all almost out of eye sight very quickly. I tried to stay pace with Jamie for the first several miles and managed to hold on until the first water stop but at that point I realized if I was going make it 7 miles I needed to slow down. I spent the next several miles beating myself up about how slow I was and how my training was terrible and I should be doing better. I looked at my watch at this point and realized that I was still under a 10 minute mile which is VERY good for me, I think I was just too focused on everyone else and not just me. I did have my friend Carl come watch for a lap and also Miss Rose came so those were definitely positive moments when I felt I was doing horribly.
Coming in for the bike transition I was feeling happy to stop running. My right foot actually did a great job in my new shoes so that was a definite positive but my left foot was not feeling great. I got on my bike and managed to clip in and get going, of course the first challenge was Nelly Hill right out of the gate. I felt the first few laps went pretty well although I need to get faster I felt strong and more comfortable with each lap. Then, I needed to get a drink of water, oh dear the horror. I managed to get my water bottle out of the cage, then realized I hadn't moved the spout to open. Boy was that fun trying to open that, the bike was definitely wobbling at this point but I managed to get the water bottle open and get some water. Then comes the fun part, putting it back in the cage. I swear I almost threw the darn thing on the ground!! I finally managed to get in and move on. At this point I saw Anna on almost every single bike lap!
Eating is another story entirely!! I did have chews with me and the one package was actually open already so those were fairly easy to get into my mouth out of the package. The problem came when the second package was not pre-opened so I had to use my teeth but couldn't get a big enough opening. It was VERY difficult to get them out and I know I did not eat enough so that is something extremely important to work on.
8 laps later I was DYING. Ok maybe not dying but certain parts of me were in definite pain :-P It was my longest ride to date, when I spin in my apartment I can kind of sit up on the seat and give myself a break but out on the road that is not really an option. This transition was a little crazy in that I was kind of out of it and totally almost ran out of the transition area still wearing my helmet!
That last 4 mile run was AWFUL, horrible, terrible, oh dear. I thought that first run was tough but this run was probably the toughest 4 miles I have ever done in my life. I struggled, my foot was killing me, I was miserable but I never stopped. At one point I started a very controlled run/walk to make sure I wasn't going to hurt my foot more. Anna came and jogged the last bit with me which helped a lot. They were already taking down the ropes around the bikes and Jamie was guarding our stuff while Mike and Anna and a few volunteers cheered me on and gave me a medal.
Positives:
I did not puke
I did not fall off my bike
I did not die
I did not give up
Opportunities for Improvement
Bike faster
Better eating and drinking
running conditioning is VERY needed
Practice more Bricks
Be nicer to myself, stop beating myself up, focus on the race at hand, commit more to training if I want to be better.
Running: 70 miles
Biking: 16 hours/ 40 miles
Swimming: 11,000 meters
Strength Training: 19 sessions
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Sleep with the fishes
Well hopefully I will not be sleeping with any fishes or seeing any dead bodies that are currently in the East River. In order to raise money for the Never Give Up 26 foundation (http://www.nevergiveup26.com/about---mission.html) I will be swimming from Brooklyn to Manhattan on July 20th.
Yes, me the person who just started swimming in November and who cried when her hands were dirty with cookie dough until her mom washed them will be swimming in the East River. I'm definitely a bit nervous about going in the gross water and also the current but I am looking forward to meeting the challenge. This year is about confronting and moving past fears and this race will be high on that list!
Another fear has been my bike, I love riding it on the trainer where there is absolutely no possibility of falling off and spin class is delightful. Well this weekend I took advantage of the nice weather and my bike and I did two loops of Central Park. Oh wow, getting on and off are my two biggest fears followed closely by the curvy areas of the park. I managed to not fall off and actually had fun going around. The second lap was much better after I got more comfortable with it and wasn't so nervous about going too fast. When I first got on the bike I thought to myself for a second, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING? WHY DID YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS?
Luckily I had the ladies of AWTT (more on that later) and they made me feel comfortable and pushed me to keep going. After a quick couple of minutes the nerves were better and I was feeling pretty excited to be feeling the wind in my face. Although I could do without all the darn tourists just randomly walking in front of me while I am trying to climb harlem hill. It will be a while before I am whipping around the park but it was very successful!
Swimming is well it is swimming. I hate it, with a passion but I signed up for a Tri Stroke Clinic at Asphalt Green and I am really excited about it. I feel like I get so many different opinions and recommendations on this and it gets hard to know what to do but I feel frustrated I'm not getting better faster. I'm hoping some specific guidance will help not only my stroke but also my confidence.
Ok that is enough for now!
Running: 37 miles
Biking: 8 hours/ 12 miles
Swimming: 7000 meters
Strength Training: 13 sessions
Yes, me the person who just started swimming in November and who cried when her hands were dirty with cookie dough until her mom washed them will be swimming in the East River. I'm definitely a bit nervous about going in the gross water and also the current but I am looking forward to meeting the challenge. This year is about confronting and moving past fears and this race will be high on that list!
Another fear has been my bike, I love riding it on the trainer where there is absolutely no possibility of falling off and spin class is delightful. Well this weekend I took advantage of the nice weather and my bike and I did two loops of Central Park. Oh wow, getting on and off are my two biggest fears followed closely by the curvy areas of the park. I managed to not fall off and actually had fun going around. The second lap was much better after I got more comfortable with it and wasn't so nervous about going too fast. When I first got on the bike I thought to myself for a second, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING? WHY DID YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS?
Luckily I had the ladies of AWTT (more on that later) and they made me feel comfortable and pushed me to keep going. After a quick couple of minutes the nerves were better and I was feeling pretty excited to be feeling the wind in my face. Although I could do without all the darn tourists just randomly walking in front of me while I am trying to climb harlem hill. It will be a while before I am whipping around the park but it was very successful!
Swimming is well it is swimming. I hate it, with a passion but I signed up for a Tri Stroke Clinic at Asphalt Green and I am really excited about it. I feel like I get so many different opinions and recommendations on this and it gets hard to know what to do but I feel frustrated I'm not getting better faster. I'm hoping some specific guidance will help not only my stroke but also my confidence.
Ok that is enough for now!
Running: 37 miles
Biking: 8 hours/ 12 miles
Swimming: 7000 meters
Strength Training: 13 sessions
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Welcome, an intro to Packy
You might be wondering to yourself who is Packy? Why 2600 miles?
Packy, Patrick Ryan Purcell is my cousin and he passed away on May 8th, 2013 from cancer at 26 years old. Packy battled Crohn's disease for 7 years and during that time I never heard him complain once, not when he lost a ton of weight and had to take time off before going to college, and not when he had to have his colon removed. In 2011 Packy was diagnosed with colon cancer and started his cancer fight. Packy never asked why me and he continued to live his life on his own terms, a true testimate to living life to the fullest and never giving up. He never took the easy way out saying poor me and never stopped living. Even getting engaged to the most compassionate and wonderful woman I have ever known in my life.
Never Give up 26 has become our remembrance of Packy and my cousin Ashley started a foundation in Packy's honor. We have shirts, bracelets, cozies, pins and we have our memory that Packy is thinking of us when we see the number 26. How does one make sense of someone so young passing away? You make it about something larger and greater. Packy's lasting impression on every single person he touched will never go away and thanks to Ashley's tireless efforts his legacy will live on in the form of scholarships for deserving students at his old high school.
Every single race I run there comes a time I think about Packy and the fact I can't give up because he never did. Below is the link to Packy's non-profit foundation as well as information about Crohns and colon cancer. 2600 miles was kind of a random pick of a number with 26 in it that I thought would be achievable. Now that I've decided to train for two half ironmen I think it should be pretty easy to get to that number so I may have to increase it. I will be counting my swimming, biking and running distances!
http://www.nevergiveup26.com/about.html
https://www.facebook.com/Nevergiveup26Foundation
http://www.ccfa.org/what-are-crohns-and-colitis/what-is-crohns-disease/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/colon-cancer/DS00035
Packy, Patrick Ryan Purcell is my cousin and he passed away on May 8th, 2013 from cancer at 26 years old. Packy battled Crohn's disease for 7 years and during that time I never heard him complain once, not when he lost a ton of weight and had to take time off before going to college, and not when he had to have his colon removed. In 2011 Packy was diagnosed with colon cancer and started his cancer fight. Packy never asked why me and he continued to live his life on his own terms, a true testimate to living life to the fullest and never giving up. He never took the easy way out saying poor me and never stopped living. Even getting engaged to the most compassionate and wonderful woman I have ever known in my life.
Never Give up 26 has become our remembrance of Packy and my cousin Ashley started a foundation in Packy's honor. We have shirts, bracelets, cozies, pins and we have our memory that Packy is thinking of us when we see the number 26. How does one make sense of someone so young passing away? You make it about something larger and greater. Packy's lasting impression on every single person he touched will never go away and thanks to Ashley's tireless efforts his legacy will live on in the form of scholarships for deserving students at his old high school.
Every single race I run there comes a time I think about Packy and the fact I can't give up because he never did. Below is the link to Packy's non-profit foundation as well as information about Crohns and colon cancer. 2600 miles was kind of a random pick of a number with 26 in it that I thought would be achievable. Now that I've decided to train for two half ironmen I think it should be pretty easy to get to that number so I may have to increase it. I will be counting my swimming, biking and running distances!
http://www.nevergiveup26.com/about.html
https://www.facebook.com/Nevergiveup26Foundation
http://www.ccfa.org/what-are-crohns-and-colitis/what-is-crohns-disease/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/colon-cancer/DS00035
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