Follow the Leader!

Today was a HUGE day for me, ok maybe all caps is overkill but it certainly felt like a really big day for me :)

One of the greatest gifts of triathlon is friendship. I've been blessed to meet so many new and inspiring people from online forums and my teammies. Today I met up with Jaime in Jersey for a nice 40 mile ride to beat the incoming rain. The caveat was she had never ridden from the GW so I would have to be the lead biker which is a first for me normally I just put my head down and follow the leader.

The first obstacle of the day was the bridge itself and I was very nervous to be doing it alone even though I have accomplished this feat in the past.  I tried to ride up the ramp but when I hit the sharp curve things did not go well and I ended up kind of stuck.  Luckily no one else was there to witness my klutzy actions and I was able to unclip, jump off the bike and walk it up the rest of the way.  I was a bit nervous in the areas around the towers where you have to turn and things are tight if someone is coming but it went pretty well.

Jaime and I met up at Strictly's bike shop and set off on our way up 9W, planning to do about 20 miles and then turn around.  I forgot to start my watch but realized fairly quickly and started tracking, but I was trying my base salts for the first time and planning to take them when my watched beeped every 5 miles however my watch was beeping every mile.  (At no point did my brain say to me "Wait it only beeps every mile on RUN mode").

We found a nice flat parking lot and I was able to practice getting into and riding in my aero bars, things started out very shaky but Jaime gave some great advice to put my weight back and let me abs absorb the shock instead of my shoulders.  Once I leaned back things felt more comfortable and we set back off on our way.  I may have taken us past some tree pruning which was a little nerve wrecking and we may have almost gotten on a highway but I did managed to admittedly stumble on the coffee shop in Nyack where everyone meets up!

After checking out the GPS we decided to go back a different way so we rode down to the water and then realized we missed our turn so we went to ride back and were smack dab in a hill.  I was in my big ring and at first couldn't change to the small ring, I freaked a bit and felt VERY clipped in (I felt like I was going to fall and couldn't even get my foot out) but I was able to get into that little ring and shift properly to get up the hill.  SUCCESS!

We made a few stops on the way back so I could check the GPS but luckily Jaime is nice and calm and not type A.  There are some beautiful river views and nice houses in that area and I was able to get in and out of aero bars several times on nice flat roads, even with cars! After the horrible hill climb back up to Englewood cliffs I realized that I had inadvertently taken us the safer route to cross over 9W instead of having to make a left off the road, score!

Riding the GW back was a bit heart attack inducing as there were a lot more people out and about including walkers who were not looking to see bikes and did not listen when you yelled 'On your left!'  I had a near miss through one of the tower sections and I decided to walk the ramp. The cross city ride was dangerous, people have no idea the actual rules of the road or they just don't care at all and I had a close call with an impatient taxi driver but I made it back in one piece!

All in all I felt it was a very successful day and training peaks thought I had run a 3 minute mile so it agreed today was ground breaking...ironman fail. :-)

Training Weekend Rundown

Months ago it was mentioned on Facebook they would be doing a free training weekend in Chattanooga.  Knowing that I am super Type A I decided that it would be money well spent to head down and get the chance to train on the course I will see in September. I felt that seeing and feeling the elevation would mean more to me than a map. Frankly on previous races I never spent much time looking at course maps so this is a first for me.

Day 1 Thursday
I borrowed a HUGE bike case and had Scottie taken apart and packed, we were supposed to fly to Charlotte but our flight got canceled due to storms so we headed to Atlanta. Scottie got on the first flight out but I ended up stuck at Laguardia for hours waiting for another flight. I finally landed in Atlanta, reunited with Scottie and then rented a car to drive 2 hours to Chattanooga. The drive was fairly uneventful other than periods of blinding rain!  I arrived about 2am to my friend, Catherine's house.

Day 2 Friday
A noon ride of the course was on the menu but first Scottie needed to be put together so I located a bike shop downtown and headed over to have them reconstruct my bike. They did a pretty good job (the bike shop that took it apart made sure to put tape markings) however the aero bars were definitely not right but since I am not really used to them it didn't matter too much. I headed to the meet up point and luckily my new pal Melissa had a jug of water for me. We filled up our bottles and I hoped for the best as it was HOT and HUMID and I wasn't feeling so prepared for that. The group set off right at noon and I knew I was severely out gunned pretty quickly.  I feel bad with the intention of just doing my own thing but at a stop light they waited for me and once I caught up I told them to just go ahead.  At this point my heart rate was almost 190 and I was getting very overheated, sweating like a crazy and having some trouble breathing.

Once they went ahead and dropped me (about 5 miles in) I pulled to the side and texted coach who of course dropped some knowledge and then yelled at me to do my own thing. Unfortunately I had overdone it at the start so it was a little hard to get things back together but I ended up doing about 26 miles. I beat myself up the WHOLE time, I was frustrated, there were tears, and I was convinced I was going to let everyone down but I kept riding. Once I got the bike all back into the car I decided to think about the positives; the ucan worked like a charm with no issues even with the heat, I had gone down all the hills without needing to feather my brakes, I had ridden all alone in an unfamiliar place and hadn't just gone right back. Basically my bike confidence had actually improved even though it did not feel that way.

I went home, took a shower and promptly passed out on the bed in the deepest sleep of my life! I even still had the towel wrapped around my head, I am really surprised my friend did not take any photos. We went and picked up my packet for the swim Saturday and then had some yummy BBQ!

Day 3 Saturday
The morning started off with a 2.4 mile swim in the river and I was NERVOUS but I managed to not throw up which was pretty impressive.  Luckily both Melissa and Ann were doing the swim so having people to hang out with on the little bus up to the start calmed me a bit. We started at a dock in front of a BEAUTIFUL house that overlooks the river but there was a delay in the start which did little to help my nerves and made me wish I had brought water. People were in wet suits but I had opted to go tri suit because I'm positive that IM chattanooga will not be wetsuit legal.

As people were jumping in the water I heard them complaining it was cold and someone had advised me the day before that it wasn't very clean.  This is where I was reminded everything is relative. The water felt amazing on my skin since I am used to swimming in 58 degree water so far this year and I could not only see my own hands as I swam but I could see the feet of the people in front of me! The start was a little confusing but once I got into a nice groove (after some prompting from Ann) I felt great.  My swim workouts have definitely improved my swim fitness and also my patience with the sport, for the first time I never checked my watch to see how long I had been in the water. I did not have a single panic attack and I never rolled to my back for the first race EVER. I did end up almost in the middle of the river and had to be prompted by a canoe guy to get back on course...oops.  Towards the end I saw the finish and I decided to sprint which my left calf did not feel like doing and it completely cramped up but even then I did not freak and after some solo right leg kicks then no kicks I was able to get the cramp out enough to walk out. I ended up swimming 2.74 miles due to my little tour and the current was definitely on our side so I was very happy with my time even with the cramp.  Note to self HYDRATE!!!

Post swim we took a little 4 mile walk around part of the run course because I was explicitly told NOT to run and I am behaving.  It didn't feel too bad and goes through a neighborhood and then along the river that we just swam in which is kind of fun.

Day 4 Sunday

The goal was to tackle one full loop of the bike course and the start time was moved earlier due to the oppressive heat.  We set out with the C group and it was a much more enjoyable ride.  The course is very beauitiful and the hills are not bad compared to what I see in Jersey which gave me some confidence. Again my ucan worked very well in the new bottles I was testing out, basically I used the bottles from my run hydration belt mixing the ucan with a little water. I did have nuun in my water bottles but ended up trying some base salts finally. I actually really liked the base salts and came home to order some. I also tried out some new toe socks at the recommendation of my friend and I have ordered some of those too!

The ride went well and we averaged somewhere in the neighborhood of 15mph, one down hill I was up to 30mph! That one will be fun on race day although I am nervous about how crowded it might be with other bikes.  For the most part cars were respectful but we had a few close calls on some of the smaller roads where cars didn't wait to have time to pass.

Summary
I am so happy I went down to see the course and after my mini meltdown the weekend provided me exactly what I wanted. I met people I will be racing with and formed friendships (including some that I have known online but never in person), I got to see and experience the course, I tested out my nutrition plan (now to make tweaks), I feel 100% more confident about the swim and I did another travel weekend alone including lugging around the huge bike case that caused me to get quite a few stares and people saying "That is such a huge case for a little girl." You should have seen their faces when I explained it was my bike and I was training for an ironman, so much for calling me a little girl...that's little bad ass to you thank you very much! :)

May!? NO WAY

The month of April was a bit difficult for me and was another month of inconsistent training, this time due to nagging foot/calf pain and a complete meltdown.

Was it crazy to sign up for an Ironman so soon after becoming a triathlete?  Probably
Is it completely INSANE to also take on a new role at work while Ironman Training? DEFINITELY

Throw in a new relationship, a need to move in to a new apartment the month before your race, timezone travel, lack of sleep and some reoccuring foot pain and BOOM you have a complete meltdown on your hands. One day I managed to throw away my license, credit card and $50 after a run because I tried to hastily clean up my apartment. This resulted in me sobbing into  my cell phone while digging through the huge trash bags in front my apartment. Luckily Z is the most patient person alive and talked me into just going back inside to order a new credit card and license.

I spent a lot of the time icing my leg to prepare for Big Sur and sleeping instead of working out. They say that rest and recovery are also important disciplines of training but when you are doing them they feel counter productive. All I could think about is the looming race which is counter productive to getting rest.

A race update for Big Sur is coming and at some point I promise to find more time to blog.

Here are the rather disappointing April Numbers; here is hoping to a more consistent May...

January Totals:                                    Feb:                             March:
Swim: 9,801 meters                         18,756 yards                   8,625 meters
Bike: 43.46 miles                               123.5 Miles                    92.76 miles
Run (AlterG): 7.16 miles                    13.5 (Alter G)                24.8 miles
Total Miles: 56.71                           Total Miles: 147.6              Total: 122.92 miles

April Totals:

Swim: 7,464 yards

Bike: 67.58 miles

Run: 53.58 miles

Total miles: 125.4

Six Month Countdown...Bye March

Wait, where is the calendar going?  The days are FLYING by, what do you mean I will be doing an Ironman in less than 6 months?

March was a dicey month with travel and sickness.  We were away at the beach which was FABULOUS at the start of the month and then in the middle drove down to my family's home to celebrate my birthday.  While we were away for my birthday I wasn't feeling my best and turns out I had a sinus infection which severely hampered my training efforts obviously as I just struggled to breathe and work. I would love to have a solid month of training under my belt sooner than later.

I need to be better about blogging as well! I have tons of topics floating around my head but with work and trying to keep myself on my training schedule I'm stretched a little thin.

Nutrition changes are going very well and I need to sit down and write what I have changed up so far and how I think it is impacting me.  I need to be better about this in the long run but I'm starting small to make sure I stick with it.

I need to stay healthy for April, hit more of my workouts and blog more!  Updates to come :)

January Totals:
Swim: 9,801 meters
Bike: 43.46 miles
Run (AlterG): 7.16 miles
Total Miles: 56.71 

February Totals

Swim :18,756 yards

Bike: 123.5 miles

Run (Alter G) 13.5 Miles
Total Miles: 147.6 (now I just need to do most of that distance in one day :-P)

March Totals:

Swim: 8,625 m

Bike: 92.76 miles

Run: 24.8 miles

Total miles: 122.92

The devil is in the details

How many times a day do you find yourself thinking, "I wish I was as skinny as that person" or maybe "I wish I was as fast or as strong." The risks of comparing yourself without the full details is that you don't know how often that person trains to be that fast, how many years it took them of 5am work outs, you don't know if that skinny person feels terribly about themselves or if they struggle to put on weight. 

A few weeks ago I did metabolic testing to give myself some valuable knowledge as I forge ahead with Ironman training. I wanted to find out my exact heart rate zones so I could heart rate train properly as well as find out my body fat percentage and my metabolic rate just for extra information. I wasn't very shocked to learn my body fat percentage but when I shared the information with some friends they seemed very surprised to learn the number and the response was always "but you are so skinny."  

Let's start with what is your body fat percentage? Your body fat percentage is your total mass of fat divided by your total mass. There is a certain level of essential fat in your body that is necessary for life functions and that percentage is different in men and women.  For men they must have 3-5% for life functions, women must have 8-12% for normal life functions. Please note I am not a doctor, I did not stay at a holiday inn express last night and nothing I am talking about is intended to be medical advice!

My number is....drumroll...27.5%.  This puts me in the average range for women and I would ideally like to be in the fitness range and I believe I can make the necessary changes to get there before Chattanooga. This is not my BMI, personally I don't think BMI is every really accurate because it only uses your height and weight not actual information about your body fat. Let's explore a little bit about why my body fat percentage is 27.5% and what it means.  Where your body fat is stored is more important than the number of how much you have. Of course we have all heard "a moment on the lips forever on the hips" some people carry their body fat on the thighs, hips and butt, some carry it around the middle and some have visceral fat which is stored around the organs.  Unfortunately for me I have the later so I'm what you might call skinny fat and now I need to make some changes. 

Every day your body burns calories just to exist and that is your metabolism at work, I learned that my metabolism is 12% faster than the average person my age, height and weight.  Essentially I burn 12% more calories just to exist and then add in all my work outs and I need to ensure I am taking in enough calories to sustain life. That my friends is how someone gets skinny fat, they don't eat enough calories so their body thinks it is in a famine and begins to store fat for when the food runs out. My focus in the coming weeks will be on ensuring I get to at least 2100 good calories per day, proper fueling before work outs and proper refueling with protein after work outs.  

My avoidance of nutrition has gone on long enough and I need to take it seriously to make sure I get the results that I want from Chattanooga.  Nutrition can make or break race day, the devil will be in those details and I want to make sure I set myself up for success. 

January Totals:
Swim: 9,801 meters
Bike: 43.46 miles
Run (AlterG): 7.16 miles
Total Miles: 56.71 (if my math is correct)

February Totals

Swim :18,756 yards

Bike: 123.5 miles

Run (Alter G) 13.5 Miles
Total Miles: 147.6 (now I just need to do most of that distance in one day :-P)

What does impressive even mean?

This is going to be a bit stream of conscious so I apologize ahead of time.

Today after a rather trying day at work I was invited to happy hour which of course I declined by saying I had swim tonight so I couldn't go.  The person said "oh are you training for something?".  I said, "yes, an ironman." My coworker responded, "Wow that is so great, you are extremely impressive."  Here's the thing I was NOT feeling impressive today, I wasn't even feeling semi-impressive.

I woke up this morning and started my day as I have the past week, with 100 bicycle crunches, hey I'm going to the beach in three weeks and sometimes you have to be concerned with the vanity muscles :-) I must say though I am not noticing much of a difference.

I headed to Performance Health to run on the Alter G for 30 minutes and three miles later I was feeling pretty good. Off to work where well let's leave the details out but say it has been challenging lately.

After work it was manual therapy at 7pm, you might think oh that sounds like a massage, Katrina you are crazy that sounds delightful.  No, no it is not delightful.  Over the past several months Jason, my therapist has unceremoniously torn my tendons apart from one another after they fused together.  Generally I wither in pain and leave with bruised skin and actual finger impressions.  Today after messing with the foot for a bit he moved to a calf cramp that has been plaguing me.  Don't get me wrong after I feel better, during I wonder what the heck I'm doing to myself while trying not to try to punch him. After I get this body buffing thing which is kind of relaxing and at least dulls the pain, then I had to sort my schedule which many times feels like another job.

At this point I was exhausted and NOT feeling like swimming, it was freezing, I was tired and in pain. I texted my delightful coach to tell me to get my butt to the pool and she obliged.  Dragging myself to the tram to Roosevelt island it was freezing and I thought to myself in September this is the night you are going to think back to and know you are ready.  You are dragging yourself to the pool because you have a goal and a dream and you have to put in the time to get there even on the days you don't want to.

Swimming just doesn't provide me the stress relief of other work outs and I don't understand why.  For 1600 meters in between horrible coughing fits I tried to convince myself that the water was washing away the worries of the day.  It wasn't the prettiest but it wasn't the worst and hey it was a work out completed.

When I got back to my locker I had a simple text that made me smile, "How was your swim?"  I have a sherpa, he even timed my intervals during my trainer session yesterday, I'm so lucky. I'm pretty sure I would not be so happy if I didn't have him helping me to keep balance.

Then I came home to a card from my first and most loyal sherpa, MOMMY.

Today I didn't feel impressive. I did suck it up and go workout even though I just wanted to sleep,  does that make me impressive?  I certainly think the people in my life that support me and deal with me on a regular basis are impressive.

Peace out 2014, a year of major accomplishments and major setbacks!

2014 started as most New Years do, with promise and lofty goals.  The year ended with many of those goals accomplished and some important lessons and learning as most do.

This time last year, if I am truly honest with myself and go back to my blog I was recovering from foot surgery and I was ITCHING to do something, I hadn't really learned to swim yet, hadn't been on the new bike I had bought and frankly wasn't so confident about my running post surgery.  I had a long way to go before my first half iron in June but I was feeling excited mixed with the anxious feeling of needing to get off the couch.

Swimming proved to be an arch nemesis and I switched exclusively to swimming a 50 meter pool that was much further from my house in order to push myself.  That worked wonders until I had a complete and utter meltdown at my very first ever open water swim in May, ok well maybe not complete because I didn't cry but let's face it I contemplated giving up MANY times. People always say to me, "Oh I wish I could do what you do but...(insert reason here, I'm scared, I can't swim, I freak out, I want to quit, I don't have time)."  Well I have news for you and if you read my blog you know this, but I want to quit many days, I have meltdowns where I cry on the floor over something stupid because I have been training for weeks and I'm sleepy and sore and I've reached my limit, I get overwhelmed with my dreams and goals, BUT I don't give up, I don't quit, I stay the course.  That is the important lesson to learn and that I hope I have conveyed in the last year. I was never a natural athlete, this does not come easily for me and this journey has taxed me more mentally than physically.

Looking back on 2014 I'm disappointed in myself for getting hurt and therefore not meeting the very high goals I had set for myself at the start of the year.  I'm frustrated and tired of the injections, the physical therapy, the constant doctors appointment, and most importantly the lack of a training schedule presenting me with solid base and improvements as I head into an even bigger 2015. The injury has taught me valuable lessons and I need to focus on those lessons in my periods of frustration and self doubt.  I know that if push comes to shove mentally I can make my body work through pain, not of course broken bone pain again but in the instance of a grueling race I can have mental toughness.  I will never forget the words said to me by someone who has known me from the awkward first days of college, "You are way stronger than anyone has ever given you credit for".  Those words have stuck with me since they were uttered in June and they have powered me through.

When I think to all the physical pain I have endured I remember Packy and the fact he suffered far worse and he never gave up and he never complained. I'm sure he had internal complaints and some hidden meltdowns but to the outer world he portrayed his strength and that is important.  As far as me, I am going to endeavor this year to be more honest via the blog as far as feelings of doubt, being scared, etc so that you can see that I'm not Teflon, this process is hard and anyone going through it or thinking about it should have a real picture not puppies and kittens. I want people to say, "I decided to try it because after reading you try it I think I can do it."

Triathlons are hard, learning new sports is hard and sometimes demoralizing, long course events require extreme commitment and sacrifice.  The benefits to me far out way the sacrifices, amazing friends, inspiring and teaching others, the feeling of crossing the finish line and let's face it looking pretty good in skinny jeans is a plus :-)

So 2014, I must say you were pretty positive. I'm so lucky to have the best parents/cheering squad in the business who followed me even to another country to support an endeavor that I am not sure they always understand.  I have not had one major race without them and that means the world to me. I set a new half marathon PR and I set a new 5K PR during a sprint tri relay that my team won.  I accomplished my goal of a half ironman race, I didn't get the time I wanted but I learned so much about race nutrition and myself, especially when I learned I did it with a stress fracture. I had my first DNF, I struggled with my feelings of being pulled for not making the bike cut off but realizing that everything in life holds a lesson and that was an important lesson for me. The understanding that you can only push yourself so far before you need to listen to your body and understand that rest is necessary. The understanding that a DNF is not a failure, it is not a negative but a positive message of a new goal and what I needed to work on.  I accomplished the goal of learning how to take care of myself, rest according to orders and heal.

2015 is the year of the Ironman...more on that tomorrow.

Tenacious D...I mean triathlete...Tenacious Triathlete.

The other day I was talking with a very good friend of mine who shares my passion and dedication for running and it gave me a brilliant idea for a blog.

I have long been called stubborn, strong willed and pigheaded (thanks mom).  While sitting down to write this I looked up some synonyms for stubborn and I picked out a few I really like, tenacious, persistent and iron-willed.  Sure there were plenty of synonyms that have much more negative connotations but for the purpose of our conversation we are going to stick with the positive. Just like in life, if you keep a positive spin on things you will be happier in my opinion.

Being stubborn to a degree is a require trait for any endurance event because your legs will want to quit, your body will be exhausted, your brain will question your motives and you need that small part of you that says, "sorry shut up legs, get over it body and who cares brain." I've been pigheaded since I was a small child and I am sure that made things slightly difficult for my parents but I think they did a fabulous job of fostering my fierce independence while reigning me in when it was necessary. My mom might just describe me as complete nuts now after watching my races, kidding, at least I hope.

Whenever I meet new people they are always amazed when I say my first ever running race was a half marathon and their eyes bug out of their heads when I say I signed up for a half iron having no idea how to swim.  The first thing they always ask is "how did you know you would be ready."  My answer is always, "there was no other option."  It isn't in my DNA to not complete a challenge that I have created.  Now to clarify I always make sure I have the proper lead time going into a race to ensure I have the correct training but I can't imagine signing up and then not doing the work to make it happen.  It isn't to prove something to anyone else and I think that is the important fact, it is for me to show myself that I am capable of the greatest challenges I can find.

This tenacity is why I love my role in helping others achieve their goals and helping them to learn how to be stubborn.  Mental toughness can be trained just like anything else but it is MUCH harder.  Unfortunately being strong-willed isn't always a great personality trait in my current rehab senario and it likely is what caused me to have a harder recovery since I didn't head to the dr at the first sign of pain.

After a month in das boot I moved to real shoes this week and let me tell you that was a HUGE relief as I was so tired of wearing that stupid boot. The physical therapist and the doctor are pleased with my progress after the Platelet Replacement Therapy, which was the most painful experience of my life.  I, however, am frustrated and impatient and trying very hard to not over do things as I wait for the tendons to figure out how to repair themselves and stop constantly hurting.

I'm feeling the pressure of my impending race season and it is making me feel extremely restless to get back to training but I know that pushing too hard right now could cost me months or even a race in the future.  How does one stubbornly rest?  Well they start getting back to strength training slowly while monitoring their foot, they learn to ice said foot three times a day and they read a bunch of books about training.  I've also been doing some mentoring and I volunteered at the NYC marathon which was a fabulous chance to meet some wonderful ladies.  It is a great feeling when people come up to you and say "Oh wow YOU are Katrina! I've heard so much about you!"

Here's to an injury free 2015 and a soon to be productive off season!

Resetting the mile counters to 0 (until I'm cleared to really work out they will stay there)

Swim:

Bike:

Run:

If your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough

Dreams can mean so many different things for so many people but for me a dream is a goal that I set for myself that seems unattainable. You don't want your dreams to be easy because going down an easy path doesn't make you grow as a person. If you don't face your fears you will never feel the euphoric feeling of accomplishment that comes when you do something that your brain was convinced you could NOT do. 

My next adventure will be long, grueling, exciting, and no doubt extremely life changing. On Monday, September 29th in a coordinated conference call effort, Jamie, Ladawn and I all signed up for the 2015 Little Debbie Chattanooga, Tennessee IRONMAN. Yes, we had a conference call, we are all very type A and had to ensure everyone got in since it sold out in minutes last year.  Turned out it took a few more days to sell out this year but we were all pretty excited anyway. We whipped out our credit cards and over $800 later I was ready to embark on the toughest physical challenge I have ever faced.  The business and cost of Ironman will come in a later post, but let's just say it is not for the faint of heart. 

The past month dealing with my injury and the countless appointments made me very much doubt my ability and mental capacity to continue my journey to a 140.6 race.  However, I had a brief come to jesus moment after I got back to NYC from Canada when I was walking down the street and having a particularly down day when I saw a Captain America shirt.  As you might know my cousin Packy loved Captain America and I took this is as sign from him, which I generally always do, well that and when I see bud light another favorite of his :)  Anyway, here I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about my doctor's appointments to get my foot better when my foot clearly is not a life threatening injury. 

Perspective is a beautiful thing my friends.

Perspective that the whole reason I wanted to do Chattanooga is the charity is Crohns and Colitis foundation, a foundation that is searching for a cure to the disease that Packy fought.  A deeper meaning that going into this training is my testament that Packy truly did teach me to Never Give Up not to only do it if it was fun, or easy, or I wasn't hurt. I can handle a few doctor's appointments in order to get myself back in top shape for my upcoming 2015 race schedule if Packy could handle the countless appointments to try and stay with us. 

Don't get me wrong I will still have days I feel completely overwhelmed but those days I will make sure to remember I have my angel with me. Every mile of that 140.6 is to celebrate a person that changed the lives of countless people and impacted the world in his short time here.  Every mile of training is to reaffirm that I'm alive, that I have hopes and dreams and that I deserve to be at that level of race. 

Before Barrelman in my lucky Captain America Shirt with the people who always support my wacky adventures and let's face it sometimes are the cause...I'm looking at you in the background JAMIE!

Dream big, dance in the rain, smile at a stranger and remember life is one big adventure. 

Resetting the mile counters to 0 (until I'm cleared to really work out they will stay there)

Swim:

Bike:

Run:

The lost summer of 2014

I have majorly slacked on updating pretty much all summer which is mirrored by the fact I haven't trained or raced well either. Let's try our best to do a short, concise catch up post before starting into the new, fun stuff.

Long Island Triathlon
We signed up for the Long Island Triathlon as a relay team for All Women's Tri Team, I was running the 5K. I'm not a very good 5K runner, I am really more of a distance runner but I figure I need to get faster at some point. The course was a little weird you ran on pavement for about a quarter mile, three laps on grass, a quarter mile on sand and then finished up on pavement. I was pretty worried about the grass but that was only because I didn't know about the sand at the time! I managed to figure out the grass but when I was hit with the sand well let's just say we are lucky I didn't stop entirely.  I had to walk a bit, it felt like quicksand! Once I got back on solid ground I sprinted the heck out of that last part and ended up with a fabulous PR of 24:57. Our team even won the Women's Relay grouping!

Aftermath
After the Long Island Triathlon is when things got a bit out of control. I woke up unable to breathe with a racing heart rate and managed to drag myself to urgent care. After passing out during a breathing treatment it became pretty obvious I was in fact quite sick. Turns out I had a very serious lung infection which lead to a two week break from working out.

Sadly that break from working out cause the aches and pains to start coming to light and turned out my left foot was KILLING me.  Off to the dr I went rather begrudgingly to discover that I was in fact falling apart.  Do you know how to make a triathlete very sad?  Tell them that they have an injured rotator cuff due to a bike accident, asthma, allergies, a stress fracture in their foot as well as ligament and tendon damage. How about that for a lot to handle?  I went from on top of the world to completely down in the dumps.

Physical Therapy
I personally find that physical therapy is harder than training because you are in immense pain and it is mentally exhausting without the normal endorphins from working out. The stress fracture was complicated by the fact I trained on it for probably several months, oops someone has a high pain threshold. I have learned that tendons and ligaments are MUCH harder to heal then bones, well isn't that just peachy.  I spent most of the time very focused on getting ready for Barrelman because I refused to admit I couldn't do it. After months of painful physical therapy and no training I don't know why I even thought I could do the race but sometimes I can be stubborn. Ok, ok not sometimes.

Barrelman
I wasn't trained and I had no right to expect my body to perform to that level BUT well I'm a stubborn, pigheaded brat (thanks mom) and I couldn't quit. I do have to give myself some credit because I hadn't really swim in weeks, unless of course you count some leisure swimming in the Spain and France and let's face it that was hardly training. The practice swim the day before didn't go very well but the water wasn't too bad, cold but not terrible and it was really clear.  The swim was hard and I wanted to quit several times, maybe some day I will love swimming or hell even like swimming but today was  not that day. The water was so clear but I got kicked and hit more than any other swim.

Coming up from the swim I realized it was pretty on par with Eagleman which given my horrible lack of training was not awful  It was fabulous to see my parents when I was trying to "run" to transition.  I felt very light headed coming up out of the water only to discover that there were yellow jackets in my bento box.  YELLOW JACKETS.  You should have seen me in transition trying to spray water to get them out.  Eventually I realized one was going to stick with me and set off on the bike course.

The course was not too hilly which was good until I realized there was a constant headwind.  You actually had to pedal to go downhill, yes you read that correctly, I had to PEDAL to go DOWN hill.  Holy crap I was not prepared. About 10 miles in I had a completely meltdown yelling at myself 'This isn't even fun' 'WHY are you doing this?' 'This is STUPID'.  Of course I stuck with it because Packy was with me and well let's face it I'm stubborn (noticing a trend yet).  It was the hardest bike experience of my life, constant headwinds, dangerous crosswinds, wet roads, a foot that hurt and a hamstring that was aching due to compensation.  I really should have rejoiced when I pulled in to transition 6 MINUTES over the cut off but I didn't, I was extremely upset and disappointed.  6 freaken minutes, that was all and in reality given my lack of training and the tough conditions I should have been proud but instead I was pissed at myself, upset that I hadn't pushed through the pain to train, ticked off that I slacked on my vacation, angry that the foot wasn't improving.  You name a negative emotion and I felt it.

After I had time to eat, get some water in me, stretch, and some tears I realized it was for the best, if my day was going to end early it ended before I started the run and possibly caused set backs in my foot recovery. It was a win because I wanted to quit so many times and I didn't, I powered through and tried the best I could get from my body on that day.  That doesn't mean it is the best I can do ever it was just the best I could do given the exact conditions on that day.  Another day will be better and the best part of life is you just have to keep moving forward and you will come across those days that the stars align perfectly for you.

Now that you have fallen asleep I will leave you with a nice little quote that means a lot to me "'It's impossible,' said pride. 'It's risky,' said experience.'It's pointless,' said reason. 'Give it a try,' whispered heart."

Listen to your heart, try the impossible, take risks and realize nothing in life is every pointless you are always learning.